Park Keeper: What are you doing?
{The three of us: big innocent smiles as our piles of artistically smouldering garments guff up odd green flames, standard orange flames and some strange smelling smoke mingles with starchy scorched linen... }
Me: Burning clothes! Safely!
Park Keeper takes out his walkytalky
Me: It's for a theatrical art installation and we didn't want to burn down my building!
Park Keeper: Do you have a permit from the Mairie?
Me: Oh no, sorry. {imagines piles of special forms to apply for permission for garment burning in Paris parks}
Park Keeper: Do you realise you are beside a police station? {Points at adjacent building with windows filled by staring cops}
I pick up completely pyromanised laboratory coat.
Me: Isn't it lovely! Do you like art?
Park Keeper: Not that sort, no. Collect your things and leave.
I and two helpers gather up the gorgeously arsonated clothing and all the matches and exeunt from Parc Georges Brassens.....